DeanTells - Negro Men

Read the true article here: Zulu Negro Beast 

For hundreds and hundreds of years, the Zulu people have this rather unusual culture and tradition which may seem odd to the eyes of modern people in Europe; marrying at least 3 wives - at the same time. Zulu is a tribe in South Africa. With its current population exceeding 1 million people, it may be right to say that they are a 'fucking dog machine' kind of human beings.

One case has been found by one of our DeanAdvocates that the Zulu's President; Mr Zuma Hornyman, has married his fifth wife at the beginning of this year 2010 in January. The ceremony was small and the invitations were far less than was expected. Obviously, this may not happen if it wasn't the President's 5th bloody marriage!

When asked about his feeling, Mr Zuma said, "I am Zuluian. I like to satisfy myself. Acting and behaving like the king of the jungle is my nature. My great grandparents have inherited me this 'power' to me since I slipped out from my mother's private parts in the summer of 1955. I am proud that I married a lot of these black negros and I don't feel any regrettable feelings."

About the 'power', he explained, " are you sure you don't know. Well, you should watch this tape. I'm sure you'll understand." He put a sex tape to DeanAdvocates, consist of him having an orgy with 10 women in a wild beast manners. Due to our policy, the link to the video has been removed by YouTube.

Mr Zuma has been involved in numerous allegations on scandals. He denied this accusations. "That's not true. Although I have married many times, it doesn't mean I want to have an affair with other women outside marriage.Think about it."

It's rather ironic when he told us to think over about his statements on that evening.It's just common in men's mind that this black men are not just discriminating the women in South Africa, but he is implying that men are superior to women. So, he tries to express his feelings towards women in the world that he is "a mother fucking good in bed." (another quote taken)

Our DeanAdvocates ask him when he's next marriage will be, he blatantly said, "not in front of my wife. *next summer.*"

DeanTells - Bride vs Wife

Valentine's day is the best day for lovers throughout the world. No matter who you are, where you are; you are very lucky to have the chance to celebrate your lovely time with your lovely partner.

Unfortunately, Ms Betty Striper, 26, a bride-to-be, has to jump 9th floor down from her balcony in Leeds, when her room was caught fire last Saturday evening.

Our DeanAdvocates have managed to record and jot down any peculiar facts about the events. Mainly, the fire was started by a romantic candle in the bride-to-be's bathroom. It was found out that the bride was having a talk with her girlfriends (3 of them) and she forgot all about the candles she had set out.

The evening was very traumatized for Ms Striper. She could not be interviewed because it was held that she had broken jaw, broken hips, twisted her ankles very badly and she even lost some of her front tooths.

It's very fortunate that our DeanAdvocates was able to interview another woman, a lovely lady, Mrs Plum Body at that evening.

When asked about the incident Mrs Body said: "I was playing with my sons and daughters on our Wii player. As you know, I'm over weight. Then, suddenly I heard screams and crying over the back of my backyard. As you can see, I don't care when I heard it. But when I heard the women said, "we white bitches are going to die!", then I run outside and see a sea of blazing fire on the fifth floor."

"I quickly run up my master bedroom, kick off my lazy husband to the floor and drag my queen size mattress to my neigbour's backyard. However, I need to karate off the fence with my fat palm to enter the garden. Then I just shout to the bitches to jump. I threatened them.........."

The interview was censored by our source due to foul language and inappropriate stories.

At the end, Ms Striper brought an action against Mrs Body for trespassing and criminal damage under section 3(b)(ixx) of the Property Law Act 1925.

To see the real article click here : Bitches saved by springy mattresses.

DeanTells - Cat vs Dog

" Fluffy little bastard", per Ray William Johnson.

" My best friend when I'm lonely", Shane Dawson.

" Get down here you bi#@*!!", said angry pet owner.

These are just one of the billion-million-shitllion catch phrases used by normal people in the world when they talk about their cats. Similar to those who owns a dog as their partner in their lonely home.

National Statistics Cat Dog Association (NSCDA) states that almost half the people in the world today have a pet. The reason for these findings are simply because human beings are becoming more friendly to other species that could not utter the same language as the human being. People like to hang around with cute, cuddly creatures that they could play with and would not argue back when the owners are complaining to them.

A cat lover, Miss Catholice Mamajah, said to DeanAdvocates; " I love cat more than my boyfriend. If only my cat could talk to me, I would just marry it. By it, I mean, it's a male. If you know what I mean."

Our DeanAdvocates then interviewed Mr GushJadom Babajos, dog owner. Regarding on the matter of 'man-best-friend', he said:" Mat here is my best friend. I 've got him from the street in front of my house 8 years ago. I was so sad that time when my girlfriend dumped me over pizza dinner. That's when Mat knocked on my door and calmed me down."

The conversation went on and our DeanAdvocates knew that this guy was not telling the truth. When inquired whether his story was true, he burst-ed into flame and told our DeanAdvocates swear names such as: "Mot@#&*, Bi@#*&, Sh*$#head, As@#&*, et cetera".

Mr Babajos said, " If you don't believe me I bring Mat here."

Apparently it was a man. He had mistaken as he thought he heard "Bloke", not "dog".

DeanAdvocates declined to make an inquiry over his homosexuality.

Moreover, according to the NSCDA recently, they find that those cat owners are more likely to have a degree university than those who have a dog as their pet.

Dindin Malum says, " I have a cat. That's why I go to law school.

"I strongly believe that cat gives you good luck. I  submit that your cat would give this conjuring aura which gives you positive energy in your surrounding area of your every day life."


Follow this link: Get Degree By Owning A Cat.

DeanTells - Super Cat

[ Read my profile first you First Year!]

Cat, a small carnivorous mammal that is loved and valued by humans for its companionship and cute pet figure. Cats have been associating with humans for almost 9,500 years. And in the late 17th century, many people are becoming cat lovers.

Some believe that cats have spiritual nature in them. Some believe that cats are meant to live with humans. And some fatuous individuals claim that cats are super heroes.They claim that cats have the ability to talk with human beings but those who could talk with them are not obliged to inform to the world. Those people must keep the secret. This term is called 'Pact with the cat'.

Accordingly in Chigago Tribute, the link can be found here: Cat Poked Couples To Wake, a domestic cat, has nudged its owner by poking its paw on its owner's nose.The pet owner, known as, Jeramy Gagbush, claimed that his cat has talked to him. He even claimed that his cat has screamed at him when his kitchen was on fire.

DeanAdvocate's correspondent, who was in the resident at that time, has interviewed Mr. Gagbush. On the inquiry whether the cat could talk, he said: " Yeah man. It was fu*** true. Thanks to my Tom ( the cat), I would have been killed in that fire. I tell you this. At that time, I was sleeping on my couch. Then something was stractching on my nose. I knew it was my cat."

"But when he scratched my nose which seemed like he nudged me, I heard someone calling me. I thought I was dreaming. Then, I heard rough voice screaming in my left ear. I thought I was dreaming when Tom ( the cat) was standing on my stomach and said, " woke up you fat-man! There's fire!" That's when I realised huge smokes gushing into my room."

Our correspondent stated that when he was in the vacancy, there was no cat to be seen. According the the Statistical Public Voting (SPV), 5% voted that Mr. Gagbush was telling the truth. 1% voted that he was a plain liar. And 94% voted, " who the fu** is BUSH?!"

Moreover, our other DeanAdvocate's correspondent, who was residing in Notthingshire, has reported that a cat named Casper was killed by a motorist. The cat was known by the local people for commuting from Notthingham Forest to Derbyshire via Public Bus. The driver, Mr. Flamboyant David, said:" I hope that motorist would die in vain. I love Casper. He's such a lovely cat. Since his owner, Catic Psychor, died, I think the cat was Mr Psychor himself. He loves to sit in the front row. I always drop him near the Lace Market or in the NTU."

You can read it here. Follow this link: Cat Shows Ticket To Bus Driver.

Hoax!

Disclaimer: " This article is paraphrased by the writer's own words. It is not intended to offend any races. Do read the article for real facts and much clarity via the links provided in bold. Reader's discretion is thus advised. Claim against this writer will deem to be ineffective by virtue of Copyright Acts 1998 under section 88(1)(h), " Dean rules, you must believe him."

DeanTells - Good Cop

[ Read my porfile before you bring an action against me]

Real article : Police Stun Gunned Students To Death

10 students in Kankakee Junior High School were found dead laying on the floor after 2 Kankadee Police officers have allegedly tasered them in their thighs and buttocks.

Real agenda are yet to be known. However an English teacher who was in the scene that time was shocked when the police officers have acted in that ill-mannered way. Apparently, she was happened to get tasered as well, but she could escape and get help.

The story behind the scene began when these 2 Police Officers were authorized to make a demo in various Junior School on How Stun Gun Works. However, they were not authorized to specifically tasered directly on the students. It was known that these two officers are demented and have a record of insanity for the past 5 years. Ironically, no body has found out about it.

One of the victim's mother has told DeansAdvocates: " These sonof*** God for f***** world, mother of pro***** and *****".
" My son was being treated like a da** dog in a god*** fuc*** sh*** place."
" Fu**** this moth** cops for fuc**** with my loving son".

[Further comments have to be censored out due to obnoxious gestures and remarks.]

All across Kankakee, Illinois, many parents demand the Law Enforcement to suspend those wrongful officers. However, the Chief of the Security Department spurned their recommendations and said, "Fu** you ass**. My boys are innocent. Your sons are the one to be blamed for wanting to get tasered."

Further breaking news will be reported shortly.

In a mean while, in UK, 3 police officers have been caught smoking weed while sliding their uniforms down the playground.

Video has also been posted in YouTube. It becomes viral and it has reached all across Asia Pacific.

One Chinese man said, " ------------------------------------------------"
[ " I wish I could be like those UK officers. They have much more fun than being cops here in China"]

[Real Article on Police Sliding are here: Police Slide Their Asses DownHill]

Be-zing!

Disclaimer: " This article is paraphrased by the writer's own words. It is not intended to offend any races. Do read the article for real facts and much clarity via the links provided in bold. Reader's discretion is thus advised. Claim against this writer will deem to be ineffective by virtue of Copyright Acts 1998 under section 88(1)(h), " Dean rules, you must believe him."

DeanTells - Salt Recession

[ Do read my profile before you bring an action against me]

Real Article are here: Snow Shortage Superb! Recession Sucks Like Internet Lagging.

You may have heard about this chemistry whereby if you put salt on snow or ice, it would get melt. This is typical in most countries below zero degree level.

However, in UK, the government has refused to provide salt stocks which have caused many havoc all across  the country.

Gordy Browny says, " I'm sorry to say that I have to cancel the recommendation to provide further pile of salt because of the recession. Those who have been in casualty due to slipping and getting fatal injury, I would not permit that unnecessary and unwelcome actions. Civilians have to look after themselves."

He refuses to elaborate further.

Our Dean Advocates has found out that many school have been closed down for a period of 2 months. A and AS level examinations are postponed. This causes national outbreak from countries outside UK because the action is held to be disproportionate. It is not for the Member State of the EU to easily amend their legislation recklessly. Directives have to be provided for each MS to discuss on what necessary procedure has to be taken.

Secretary Minister in Education, Jack Manbullsheet says, " We are deeply saddened for our ill conceived and low mannered decisions in undermining the national law in Broad of Education. However under the Royal Charter, we have the authority to change the law as we like. Therefore, it is not entirely our fault. But, we are very remorseful for our act."

According to the WHO ( World Health Organization), they have wasted a lot of revenue due to this freak weather condition in Europe mainly in UK. Many have been treated in hospital due to broken hips, jaws, wrists, and asses. It is reported that youngsters could be found playing on a frozen lake, pushing each other at the side of the road, and et cetera. As a result for giving further treatment to these reckless youngsters, economy in UK has been greatly declining down to 33%. It is the first time it has ever occured in UK's 400 years history.

Ironically, senior pensioners who are in great need for medical treatment are ignored. They have been denied hospitalization and medication because they are regarded as dysfunctional for the UK's economy. Tory Cameron, the specialist in senior society treatment says, " For the past 15 years I have been under this degrading service of cleaning and washing these seniors buttocks. In other words, I have been their maid, cleaner, murse ( male nurse), and their slave to their old asses. Yesterday the Prime Minister has approved on my complaint letter. So on today onwards, I will be a free man. I will no longer be touching Senior English Teabag."

This condemnation has become a public outcry all across the nation. Many critics have recommended to change this policy as quickly as possible.

In the Far East, a journalist name herself Cik Kasum has said this in our Dean Advocate report.

" Teruk tah banar orang putih anie aeh. Sudah tah inda menyediakan garam kepada orangnya. Teruk lagi d jahanamkan nya orang tua tu. Kan mati aeh."
[ " Giving ill treatment to the elderly are the biggest sins of all mankind. I will not tolerate this. May god save those English Men there."

Be-zing!

Disclaimer: " This article is paraphrased by the writer's own words. It is not intended to offend any races. Do read the article for real facts and much clarity via the links provided in bold. Reader's discretion is thus advised. Claim against this writer will deem to be ineffective by virtue of Copyright Acts 1998 under section 88(1)(h), " Dean rules, you must believe him."

DeanTells - Craig The Pig

[ Read my blog before you claim against me]

Have you ever wished to taunt the whole lot of the Law enforcement? Have you ever wished to become a celebrity villain, running havoc all over across Scotland and London? In addition to that, you've taken a photo sitting in bath of cold baked beans on Children in Need, you have a CD signed by Joe McElderry and you have celebrated Christmas with huge turkey in your hiding place. But the thing is, you don't harm anyone else. You merely want to get acknowledgement and attention from the people across the world. Not only that, would you feel proud to ever escape out from jail at Suffolk and posted your smiley faces in Facebook? And also, would you think that you have become the public icon because you have fooled the security police department for failing to capture you in more than 2 months.

Would you want to be like that? Have you ever heard about Craig Lynch?

Read this article: Craig Lynch, Guantanamo Bay's prisoner escaped and befriended Osama Bin Laden.

If you've never heard about the name Craig: the Maximus Justice before , I will tell you here in this blog.

According to Dean's Advocate's sources, Craig was convicted for stealing a candy bar from a shop in Leeds's small area called Policean Trent. It was known by his neighbor that the reason for his aggravated conviction was due to his so-called long shot with his son. He was betting with his son in Super Mario contest in Nintendo. He lost the game and therefore he had to pay 100,000 quids. The trouble was, he has financial difficulties.

Soon after, in order to hide his embarrassment, he averted his attention to this Candy Shop owned by Ned Flanders. It was also known that Ned was his neighbor. Other people in Leeds knew that both of them had  been in bad relationship with each other for many years. Then, Ned has died after being found lying on a path outside a church in a wintry winter with his eyes dislocated from its socket.

After the death of Ned Flanders, Craig had disappeared from his hometown. However, he was found to have posted a picture of him sticking his middle finger and showing his ass via the social network Facebook. Within 2 weeks, he had fans all across the world supporting him. He have also sold many T-shirts in the internet depicting himself as the hero from the evil dour in the uniforms.

Until today, this murderer, burglar, stealer, pencuri and et cetera have been at large and no where to be seen.

Some critics have acknowledged the incompetence of the Law enforcement for failing to capture this one man.

Angry protester outside Supreme Court ( the then House of Lords) have shown signs like, " Police Fat like Pig", " Police Fail To Capture One Man", " Police sucks", and many more imputation signs.

In Dean's Advocate latest news, picture is taken whereby Craig has been found smoking weed outside ASDA store in The Forest with couple of brothers. By the look at his face, he has not shown any remorse or guilty. He is actually enjoying himself. Conversely, he has put some weight over the past weeks. Seemingly, he has gotten fatter for being the longest run-away convict in Britain's history.

Be-zing!

Disclaimer: " This article is paraphrased by the writer's own words. It is not intended to offend any races. Do read the article for real facts and much clarity via the links provided in bold. Reader's discretion is thus advised. Claim against this writer will deem to be ineffective by virtue of Copyright Acts 1998 under section 88(1)(h), " Dean rules, you must believe him."